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Women Asking Out Men
Jesus said unto him, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that
believeth". Mark 9:23
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MAR-8-10
15:50:45
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Women Asking Out Men
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lowcarb
Male
61-70
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yes, yes,
i agree. it is fine for the ladies to ask out the men.
look what happened to bruce willis.
a partnership of equal responsibilities and equal authority is the only way to go. and, if that is true, then the ladies must have an equal opportunity to express their interests as much as the men have opportunity to express their interests.
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MAR-8-10
13:5:42
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Projective Identification
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SeekingHeart
Male
51-60
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It is prevalent, particularly on line. I know people on the networking sites, even the Christian/Adventist dating sites, who seem to repetitively and painfully follow the pattern I'm describing. Have you seen this? Have you fallen for this? Personally, although i have been/am member of handful of Christian networking sites geared to finding a significant life-relationship, I take certain precautions. I do not use MySpace or FaceBook to find/collect potential "mates"; for the most part, every one i "friend" here is either someone I have known previously, or with whom i share some mutual interest or friend etc. I do know many use FaceBook to 'find" new "dates".
Any one I communicate with i try to draw into the forums, and specifically out of only communicating through private channels. It’s too easy to put on the blinders, and I do not get any picture of how they relate to others. Reticence on their behalf, or outright avoidance of their participation in 'public' discourse is an initial "idiot light" on my dash to find the "one'". I check my gauges, scan the mirrors, lower the radio, and watch closely, often ceasing all private communications with someone who will not communicate in the open styles. Not only might this suggest they do not wish to foreclose other options/suitors they may have, it might also suggest they are not a good match for me personally. Learning these fundamental personal differences, and making early and wise choices using this often-overlooked pattern, before emotional entanglements/connections are forged, can save much grief, pain, heartache, and time.
I do try, as early as possible in these budding relationships, to meet the person, in order to better gauge their personality, and character. Transparency, disclosure, openness, honesty...chemistry, 'sense', intuition.... are all hard enough to gauge, but downright impossible to even question once we have made that inner-leap that "she's the ONE". If the mutuality is apparent, the feeling is verbalized. Refusal by the "intended" to meet honestly and openly at this pivotal relational "turning point" is, for me anyway, immediate indication of irreconcilable relational or personality differences. This assertion of my responsibility to remain true to myself and to the quest i am on often results in the other ceasing all communication. That is OK...because it also allows me to invest myself, my time and resources NOT to trying to convince myself that i must "win", avoid "failure" (it is NOT failure; it is rather a significant success), or attempting to convince YOU that I am the better prospect. These other agenda's and machinations inevitably draws us into falsification of self, and create a relational environment such that we probably can never meet in the place of identity-honesty, which I believe is requisite for a deeper connection.
It is obvious to most, I believe, that we all have several people we communicate with, and probably hope to get to know better to evaluate potential matches and eventually choose one significant relationship. If i need to hide from you the identities of these other people who are somewhat interested in me in the same way, (ostensibly so i can select the "best" one) so that I can also entertain this possibility with them (if I do not find this with any "particular" one, say for instance, YOU), then what does that say about me? If i am "playing the field" with many such people, if i am desperate and grabbing the first person who shows glimmer of interest, if i attempt to foreclose YOUR choices in communication with others, if I inflate myself with false embellishments, or denigrate others....
Would you not be more careful communicating with ME?
The others who are "interested" in me...can give YOU a glimpse into the type of person I really am...
how I relate to them can speak volumes to you of my possessiveness or latent jealousies/insecurities.
If i avoid showing you my behaviors even in these admittedly limited ways...would you not try to examine my motivations? I'm just askin....
...be careful out there, my friend. You might be your own worst enemy, drawing you to walk in ways fraught with danger and hurt, connect with people who might not be as they may try present, creating seeming no-win impasse which might be totally avoidable.
there is a way,
a lighted path, though narrow.
A straight way, which is not impossible,
but is difficult...
unless one is "surrendered".
Surrendered defenses,
Surrendered hunger,
Surrendered agenda,
Surrendered self.
Surrendered to the greater; GOD.
My needs and wants, in this light, have a diametrically different flavor.
No longer bitter, no longer lost, no longer wandering and wondering.
The sweeter flavor of surrendering my bitters for better fruits?
Priceless.
blessings all,
Timo
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MAR-8-10
1:6:14
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Forum: Serious Discussion for Christian Singles
eating disorders
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lowcarb
Male
61-70
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this will not help, because people have to come to a decision on their own. but i am going to say it anyway. few people enjoyed dessert or sugar pop more than me, but when i was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. i stopped all sugar. 20 years ago i tried very hard to quit sugar pop but couldn't stand it. the first time i tried it again after my diagnosis it was fine.
and the weight just fell off in a few weeks. i was not even trying to lose weight, it just came off. now i maintain a cool 180, and sometimes fall a few pounds below and have to try to eat more than i do. and, let me tell you, i eat a tremendous amount of food.
i have desserts every day thanks to splenda and you have to pick and choose the best sugar free candy and ice cream and so forth.
the anchor of my diet is making my own WHOLE GRAIN wheat bread. the b vitamins enable the body to assimilate your food more completely, therefore very little of it even has a chance to go to the hips or anywhere else it shouldn't be.
some dried fruit is like candy. you have to pick and choose. meat, cheese, nuts, and eggs do not have carbohydrates. these are staples of my regime.
i cannot believe how much food i eat and yet i do not gain weight.
i'm sorry to say it, but sugar pop must go. i do not know why diet pop tastes all right now. if i were to drink regular pop, i'm sure it would taste bad. so, maybe you get used to whatever you drink, i don't know.
good luck to your friend.
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MAR-7-10
13:50:35
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Women Asking Out Men
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kristalino
Male
41-50
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Am from the same point of view like you Patientlove.Women have been fighting for emancipation from chains no one bound them.the tendency is that women always feel cheated by men and would like to be treated on the same scale,which of course i agree but when it comes to taking initiative they would handover everything to the man,and many suffer silently because they have been taught by some of these old fashioned doctrinaires that they should wait till a man ask them out.Suppose you you admire a man that does not take not of you?you will die in desire,but if you asked him out maybe it could spark something pleasant to feel:)Let our women learn to ask men out and express their feelings too.May God help us all.
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MAR-6-10
15:2:14
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Forum: Serious Discussion for Christian Singles
xmas
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lowcarb
Male
61-70
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it is correct that early Christians used the greek letter x as a symbol for Christ. probably as a 'code' to keep sympathizers of the government from knowing what they were talking about.
but i can identify with the comment about it seems to be 'leaving Christ out of Christmas'. this seems to make good homiletic material, but it would be a credit to the education of our clergy to admit (when making this distinction that it seems to be leaving Christ out of Christmas) the facts of the case about the use of the letter for a reference to the Saviour.
but, i imagine there are many in the clergy who do not understand the truth of the matter.
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